Over the last few weeks of my internship this past summer, I learned that one of a marketer’s main objectives is to build a positive brand reputation. Not only does a good brand reputation ensure a high client retention rate, but it is also essential to attracting new clients. Arguably, the most instrumental factor in brand reputation is the element of trust.  Enter word-of-mouth marketing through in-person conversations.

Which source are you more likely to trust with your money: a random billboard off the highway or your close friend? Most people would answer a close friend, and it doesn’t take rocket science to figure out why — friends have our trust. In a society where it’s becoming increasingly more common to stumble on random billboards, whether it’s a literal billboard or online brand presence, how do companies distinguish themselves as the trusted friend? One simple answer is to build trust through in-person conversations.  

Why In-person Conversations?

Many people may disregard the role of word-of-mouth marketing in building positive brand strategy for several reasons. One of the most legitimate concerns is that it wastes time. For many business owners, time is their most valuable resource. Especially if their company already has a loyal network of clients, these owners may think taking the time for a conversation is not enough value added for the time they would dedicate to it – instead, they would rather focus on implementing client feedback or researching a competitive brand.

Don’t get me wrong, listening to clients and seeing where your company stands in the larger market are both excellent uses of your time. However, so are in-person conversations. If done correctly, in-person meetings and conversations not only expose the listener to your brand and pique their interest, but they also have an edge through face-to-face connection. When humans see the real person behind the message, they are much more likely to care because they see how much you care. The question is: how exactly do you get there?

How to Present Yourself

The first step is knowing how to present yourself. Before you even introduce yourself, many people will infer various facts about you based on your appearance, so making sure your appearance aligns with your message is crucial to in-person conversations. Two main components of presentation to focus on are attire and body language.

Attire

While many people focus on selecting appropriate business outfits, accessories are also key in attire. For instance, while heels are suited for nicer occasions, flats are more practical in casual or quieter environments. Bags are another noticeable factor. If there are papers sticking out of your bag or you have to search around for your business card, you could come off as disorganized. Giving your bag a quick clean before entering an important conversation can help you be more polished and find materials more quickly. Jewelry also reflects parts of your personal life – like relationship status, religion, or causes you endorse – which can either help or harm an initial impression. While many people probably don’t give a second thought to slipping on that wedding ring or cross necklace – it could be beneficial to give them a second glance before walking into a room.

Body Language

While body language is one of the greatest advantages of in-person communication – because it can establish credibility and trust – nonverbal cues like your posture, facial expressions, and fidgeting habits can easily undermine your message. While it is obvious to many people that standing up straight is better than slouching, a smile is better than a scowl, and keeping your hands still sends a good signal, there is a happy medium to be reached. If it’s perfect posture and picturesque smiles all the time, the listener may believe the conversation is more superficial than genuine. By being conscience of your body language, but also making sure there is authenticity behind your communication, your listener will leave the conversation with a greater sense of trust in the person behind the message.

How to Talk About Yourself

After the appearance is down, the next aspect to focus on is what you say. Even the most confident, polished business leaders will lose trust if they don’t handle the conversation in a professional yet engaging way.

A main aspect to focus on is clarity. While passion is positive to display, there are other ways to show it besides rambling for too long about too many aspects of your business. To drive home your brand, your message should center around a few main points so your listener can remember the majority of the conversation after they leave. You also want to make sure you present your message in a way that’s easy to understand for your listener. While there are a time and place for highly intellectual conversations, meeting someone for the first time is probably not one of them. Steer away from using terms that aren’t natural in daily conversation and limit phrases that may not be familiar to someone outside your profession. It is good to show your expertise in the field but make sure your listener can follow what you say.

After clarity is out of the way, have confidence in your brand. Show your listener why you care about the company, why does your listener need your service or product in their life, how will it add value, and what credibility do you have in your field? Hitting on all these points will leave a listener with a more vivid depiction of your service or product and why they should invest in it.

How To NOT Talk About Yourself

At the end of the day, the purpose of an in-person conversation is not about the business owner but about their consumer. One big mistake that a speaker can make is giving an elevator pitch, handing someone their card, and walking away. Even if you have a “wow” pitch, there is an opportunity for trust missing in the interaction. A listener may walk away passionate about your idea, but they don’t have the relationship factor that will lead them to choose your idea over another promising product or service. That is why it is crucial to engage with the listener by asking questions and giving them a chance to talk.

The main reason why we trust our friends is because friendship isn’t one-sided. Having a true friend means both parties have interest in each other’s life and want to help without expecting something in return. By building a personal relationship with your listeners, a business owner can highlight not only the care they have for their company, but also their consumers. By preparing your physical presentation, content of your speech, and questions to engage the consumer, business owners can more successfully establish trust in their listener and help their company stand out.  

The Pinnacle Moment

If you had to think of a pinnacle moment with the C.E.O.S. in your life, what does that look like?

Does it center around an act of kindness that was fueled by previously voicing a need? Providing a spectacular purchasing process because you answered all of the customer’s questions? Or simply, being affirmed by a team leader for a job well done?

Through each of these experiences, the space to have a conversation was created.

The Pinnacle Question

Celeste Headlee, award-winning journalist, professional speaker and best-selling author of We Need To Talk: How To Have Conversations That Matter, is notorious for creating these spaces with people and raises an important question in 2016 that is still relevant today.

 “Is there any 21^st century skill more important than being able to sustain coherent, confident conversation?”

To put it simply, no.

Headlee believes that in order to hone this skill people need to engage in “honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening.”

Yet, sadly, this skill has been greatly inhibited by a highly polarized culture. One that is constantly driven by the need to speak with the intent to be heard instead of speaking with the intent to listen.

This egotistic intent, where the focus is on oneself instead of others, has created an unbalance that Headlee hopes to restore to balance.

“A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.”

This unbalanced, polarized culture is fueled by the most trivial of issues from politics to entertainment. Nowadays people are so passionate for or against a side that the idea of compromise has become pointless to them.

“Pew Research did a study of 10,000 American adults, and they found that at this moment, we are more polarized, we are more divided, than we ever have been in history.”

Although this study seems daunting and irrevocable, Headlee’s decades of professional speaking experience allowed her to create a framework that will help renew the balance and bring people back to the roots of speaking with the intent to listen.

Headlee’s 10 ways to have a better conversation:

1: Don’t multitask. Be present.

2: Don’t pontificate. Enter each conversation with the assumption that you have something to learn.

3: Use open-ended questions. Find out the five W’s: Who? What? Where? When? Why?

4: Go with the flow.

5: If you don’t know, say that you don’t know.

6: Don’t equate your experience with the other person’s experience. All experiences are individual.

7: Try not to repeat yourself.

8: Stay out of the weeds. Focus on the root of the story not the trivial points.

9: Listen.

10: Be brief.

Although 10 rules seems like a lot to remember, Headlee states that if a person takes the time to master even one of these rules that they will be skilled enough to create a space to enjoy better conversations with coworkers, friends, and team members.

Conclusion

Whether you use one or more of these rules, Headlee’s TED Talk boils down to this, “Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed.”

I am truly amazed each day by the people in my life and grateful for the conversations that have made me into the person I am today.

My hope for you, is that this framework will help you flourish in your day to day conversations with the C.E.O.S. in your life and encourage growth in your soft skills.

Go out and do great things!

Bio on Headlee

Celeste Headlee, the speaker of this TED Talk, “10 ways to have a better conversation,” has over 20 million total views to date. Celeste’s work and insights are featured on TODAY, Psychology Today, Inc., NPR, Time, Essence, Elle, BuzzFeed, Salon, Parade, and many more. She has presented to over 100 companies, conferences and universities including Apple, Google, United Airlines, Duke University, Chobani and ESPN, and received the 2019 Media Changemaker Award, (celesteheadlee.com).