Fear is a funny thing. It starts out small, often as a small, nagging discomfort. But over time, fear can take on a life of its own, and develop into a full blown, panic-inducing phobia.

Funny story.

I am deathly afraid of the ocean. An innocuous snorkeling trip as a teenager developed, over time, into an intense fear of what lay beneath the beautiful water. My husband has a similar feeling about heights. And for two people who absolutely love to travel, over time, we came to realize that these fears were extremely limiting. Think about all the adventurous activities that our fears were keeping us from doing.

So we made a deal. He would zip line in Cancun if I would scuba dive in Grand Cayman.

Last summer, he made good on his promise. (He nearly stroked out, but he did it!) And so the time had come for me to return the favor: Grand Cayman.

We had become overly busy in the time leading up to the trip and never became dive-certified, so instead, swimming with the stingrays became the activity of choice.

And I did it. The screaming child who grabbed onto me for comfort nearly did me in (didn’t he know that I wanted his dad to rescue ME by lifting me out of the water like an airplane???), but I did it.

Eleanor Roosevelt was a wise woman. She said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”

And that’s true. Getting in the water to swim with stingrays is not a heroic act. But the very fact that I made the decision to do it, despite the fear that had lived with me for decades, was an empowering one. I feel like a better and stronger version of myself for having done it. And I made my husband happy in the process. It was a win-win.

A small lesson in not allowing fear, big or small, to keep you from living your life. It’s a nice reminder, isn’t it?

Sigh. It’s been a scary week. In fact, it’s just a scary time. Unspeakable violence, natural disasters, discourse and pain and suffering … it’s a lot. A whole lot.

These events have caused me to struggle with feelings of fear and unease, and I have struggled to quell the fear and unease in my children. And although I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, I have looked to others for guidance about how to cope with these feelings, and I thought sharing what I’ve learned might help someone else, as well.

Some Coping Tips:

Acknowledge the Fear. Running from fear is not going to help anyone or anything. Slow down, and let yourself really feel what you’re feeling. It may be intense for a bit, but you will come out the other side and that journey shouldn’t be suppressed.

Offer Help. Tragedies make us feel powerless. Take some of that power back by actively helping those who are affected in any way you are able.

Focus on Your Reality. Yes, what is happening is disturbing. But what is your reality? Don’t overgeneralize threats and allow what is happening elsewhere to affect your day to day movement.

Balance the Negative With the Positive. Tragedies find their way into the news cycle far more often than their more positive counterparts, but there are wonderful things happening everywhere. Seek these stories out. Humanity is a beautiful thing.

Get Help If You Need It. If fear is consuming you, don’t suffer unnecessarily. Reach out for help.

Human life is a precious thing. Hold your loved ones close, friends. This too shall pass.